My son....my hero

It's surreal to me to look at this little man and believe that today marks three years that have gone by since we first met. The orphange sights, sounds and smells are so fresh in my mind. I can still feel the butterflies I had in my stomach while walking up to the door and standing in the room waiting for the caregivers to bring him to us. I also vividly remember the fear I felt when I saw him for the first time. He was so pale, so fragile, so absent looking. Mostly, I remember the great sense of peace and relief I felt when we walked out of that orphanage a family of three. Our time in Bishkek was truly magical. Our time in Almaty was....so....not....magical, but a necessary part of the journey. Stepping off the plane in Chicago, we almost fell to our knees with joy that we were ALL home.

Every single day, MY SON (my heart still skips a beat that I get to call him that), amazes me. I'm amazed at his spunk, his spirit, his intelligence, and at times, his sass. More than anything, I am amazed by his resilience. He has been through more in his short life than most of us will go through in all of ours. While we can still see occasional traces of his past, of institutionalized life, most people would see nothing more than a wild, crazy, happy, super smart, normal, 4 year old boy.

I have learned so much from this little person. I have learned to live in the now, to not waste a single moment because each one is so precious. I have learned that despite what society says, it's okay to be different, to be individuals. I've learned that there are no hardfast rules when it comes to raising kids. My son wants to spend his days writing letters and numbers, pretending that everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING) is a railroad crossing gate, and playing with calendars instead of footballs. That's okay! My four year old suddenly wants to sleep in our bed and I don't see anything wrong with that.

I have no idea what the future holds for my little man. I have no idea what he'll decide to be or what kind of wild rides he will take us on. I do know that I will hold his hand the whole way (whether he wants me to or not); I will support him, love him unconditionally, and do whatever I can to make his life as happy and satisfying as it can be.

So, I want to tell my son today:

"Thank you! Thank you for the joy and laughter you bring to me. Thank you for all you have taught me. Thank you for loving me and allowing me to love you. Thank you for being strong and waiting for us to come for you. I love you with all my heart and I am so grateful for you!"

April 2007

April 2008

April 2009

April 2010