Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Hanging out at Children's

Yup-we're still here. M is doing well, considering. She got a Hickman cath placed to receive her antibiotics and draw blood from. No more pokes makes her and mama very happy girls. The word on the street is that we'll be here at least two weeks if not closer to three. I guess that's pretty average for a kiddo in her position. I won't lie, it's tough to feel like a good wife and mom when your children are over an hour apart. I've been here at the hospital since Saturday afternoon, with a break yesterday to run home and spend some time with E. Kevin is going to start spending some time up here this weekend and next week. I've noticed that there are very few families that actually stay with their children here. I found it quite odd, but I don't, of course, know their circumstances. I guess I feel like M was abandoned once and spent almost 4 months alone in a hospital I can't imagine doing it to her again. That said, our plan is to have someone here with her all the time.

I should answer the question that several people have eluded to, although not been brave enough to pose to me directly. Do we regret adopting M? The answer is absolutely, without a doubt, NO! We did not enter into this adoption blindly or naively. We knew we could be in for a very long, difficult road. Did we hope that she would have an easy course? For sure, doesn't every parent hope that for their children? We had great hopes that she would not need multiple shunt revisions, that she would not develop an infection, that she would continue to grow and thrive and make it through infancy unscathed. The fact that she hasn't, doesn't change the fact that she is our daughter and we love her unconditionally. Truthfully, I don't know how we're going to do it. I don't know how we'll manage our time with her, with E, with each other. I don't know how we'll manage time away from work and I definitely don't know how we're going to manage financially. There really aren't any answers right now and I can't spend every waking moment searching for them. Fact is, my baby is sick and she didn't ask to be; but I asked to be her Mommy. I will be there for her regardless of what obstacles are put in our way.

So, please continue to pray for our girl and our whole family. Pray that we all have the strength and resolve to weather this storm.


janiece said...

You are right-we have very few families that stay with their kids. There are a variety of reasons--but one of the big ones is distance. Employers can be difficult too. It sucks. I have always said I will stay with the kids--and it has always been me! I figure if there was a long term thing and I need to work--well heck--my commute is pretty darn short then!
As someone who has been there with multiple kids--my advice is one day at a time, appreciate each other and the time you have, remember you are partners and most important--when it seems like you can't handle it, remember to ask God for strength. God always listens and answers our prayers--not in ways we always understand, but God does answer.
And who the heck questioned you about adopting the lovely little girl? If it was one of my coworkers I would like to know. We're working on educating staff and that would be something I will mention to our nurse educator. She's a good advocate for getting experience to our staff.
I'll see you tomorrow. Remember I'm just a phone call away.

Mary from TN said...


Praying for you guys!Know it must be incredibly difficult for you guys right now, but we also know what an incredible blessing our children are! Continuing to pray with you that your sweet daughter as well as our son and all the others will come home from Kyrgyzstan this year!

Mary from TN

Cindy LaJoy said...

Your a mom, that's enough. Not everyone gets it Shannon, some see adoption as second best, some see it as not "real". We know the truth even if others can't see it or imagine it. She is beautiful (they both are!) and you are their mom, and you'll do whatever it takes. I am so glad you can be there with her even if it is hard on the family. You are absolutely right, after her start she needs to know she will always have someone by her side.

Keep on hanging in there. Wish I had one of those Diet Cokes right now!