|Day 1 - 11mos, 3wks old - 12 lbs!|
Sunday, April 24, 2011
He Continues to Amaze Me!
FOUR years ago today we walked into an orphanage in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan. We were filled with anticipation and excitement over meeting this little person who would, of course, love us unconditionally and become our son. We were nervous, exhausted from over 36 hours of travel and had no clue what to expect. I will never forget those first moments. I can still smell the orphanage, see the rooms, the hallways, the women's faces, the little cribs all lined up in rows. I can hear the eerie silence that didn't really seem odd to me until after we left. I don't know that I've ever had the courage to blog about the actual first feelings I experienced when Esen's caregiver brought him out to meet us. He was so small, pale, shaky. He could barely hold his head upright. I remember my excitement turning to fear and the thought that overtook me was "I can't do this." I was so not prepared to meet this little boy who already had so much history and endured so much trauma. Esen survived our nervous glances, a few touches and eventually being held for a few moments. Little did we know at the time that it would be weeks before he would learn to tolerate touch and months before he would look us in the eye. That first two weeks we spent with him in Kyrgyzstan were priceless. I never imagined a person could change so much so fast. He literally changed hour by hour. By the end of our time there he was enjoying being held by us; he was not frantically crying through every feeding for fear that we'd stop giving him food; he was pushing up on his arms and looking stronger and stronger. It didn't take long for me to realize that there was an incredible spirit buried deep beneath the surface of this small soul and in time, we would continue to see more of it.